LGBT parents have long preached the mantra that love makes a family, but some are finding that as their children age they must also grapple with the question of biology. That point was driven home for Connie Turner and Jane McKay, a couple with two sons conceived with an anonymous sperm donor, about seven years ago when the couple's oldest son, Christopher, told Turner about a comment made by one of his preschool classmates.
"We were heading home one day from preschool and [he said] one of his classmates said, in a four-year-old sort of way, Christopher, there's no way you could have been born if you didn't have a dad," said Turner. She promptly gave her son, who is now 11, an impromptu biology lesson and explained how he was conceived. That exchange, said Turner, made her and McKay aware that at some point their sons would have more questions about their biological origins.
The couple's second son, Matthew, who is 8, was conceived using the same sperm donor that was used to conceive Christopher.
About four years ago, Turner and McKay, who are married and live in New Salem, Mass., found a resource to begin answering those questions when they read a news article about the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR), a non-profit that helps children and their parents find other children conceived using the same sperm donor. Users log on to the DSR website and enter the unique donor identification number for their donor and information about what clinic they used, and they can see if other members of the registry used the same donor. About a year after Turner and McKay signed on they got their first contact from a lesbian mother of twin teenage boys who were Christopher and Matthew's genetic half-siblings. Turner said they exchanged e-mails and photos between the family, but she and McKay were hesitant to establish a close relationship with the other family because the half-siblings' parents had recently split up, and only one of the parents seemed interested in connecting with them through DSR. Turner and McKay did not want to have their sons get their hopes up if the California family decided to suddenly cease contact.
They had better luck a year later when another mom from California contacted them. Her own son, Nick, who is nine years old, was also conceived using their donor. Nick's mother was eager for him to connect with half-siblings because he is an only child. Turner said the families have not yet met in person, but Turner's sons have had several long phone conversations with Nick, and they have become fast phone buddies. At some point in the future Turner said her family would like to travel west to meet Nick and his family in person. More of Donor Sibling Registry helps kids of LGBT parents grappling with their origins
"We were heading home one day from preschool and [he said] one of his classmates said, in a four-year-old sort of way, Christopher, there's no way you could have been born if you didn't have a dad," said Turner. She promptly gave her son, who is now 11, an impromptu biology lesson and explained how he was conceived. That exchange, said Turner, made her and McKay aware that at some point their sons would have more questions about their biological origins.
The couple's second son, Matthew, who is 8, was conceived using the same sperm donor that was used to conceive Christopher.
About four years ago, Turner and McKay, who are married and live in New Salem, Mass., found a resource to begin answering those questions when they read a news article about the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR), a non-profit that helps children and their parents find other children conceived using the same sperm donor. Users log on to the DSR website and enter the unique donor identification number for their donor and information about what clinic they used, and they can see if other members of the registry used the same donor. About a year after Turner and McKay signed on they got their first contact from a lesbian mother of twin teenage boys who were Christopher and Matthew's genetic half-siblings. Turner said they exchanged e-mails and photos between the family, but she and McKay were hesitant to establish a close relationship with the other family because the half-siblings' parents had recently split up, and only one of the parents seemed interested in connecting with them through DSR. Turner and McKay did not want to have their sons get their hopes up if the California family decided to suddenly cease contact.
They had better luck a year later when another mom from California contacted them. Her own son, Nick, who is nine years old, was also conceived using their donor. Nick's mother was eager for him to connect with half-siblings because he is an only child. Turner said the families have not yet met in person, but Turner's sons have had several long phone conversations with Nick, and they have become fast phone buddies. At some point in the future Turner said her family would like to travel west to meet Nick and his family in person. More of Donor Sibling Registry helps kids of LGBT parents grappling with their origins
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